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Video blog

Lift the Rudder, Magellan.

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Lift the Rudder, Magellan.

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Sometimes life feels chaotic, overwhelming, yes?  I've been hearing this from a lot of people lately, most namely from my own brain.

Just wanted to share a few concepts that are helping me on this front.

In too much of a hurry to watch the video?  I know you are.  Because life is so chaotic, of course.

Here are the Cliff's Notes to the video:  all of the answers you are seeking can be found in the silence.  In stillness.

That's where the uni-verse does its whispering.

But you're doing everything in your power to avoid the silence.  

[Oh, snap!]

Outer chaos is only a reflection of inner chaos, outer peace a reflection of inner peace.

This weekend, can you find the peace?  As Oriah Mountain Dreamer says,

...I want to knowif you can sit with painmine or your ownwithout moving to hide itor fade itor fix it.

I want to knowif you can be with joymine or your ownif you can dance with wildnessand let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toeswithout cautioning usto be carefulto be realisticto remember the limitationsof being human...

My friend:  can you do that?

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VIDEO BLOG: Is Service Inherently Selfish? (Life Lessons from Lady Gaga)

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www.bethanylee.com-1-56.jpg

It was a regular, everyday evening back in 1991 when my Dad ate a bite of steak off of my then-eight-year-old sister's plate.

"You're too picky," he told her.  "That's good steak you're pushing to the side of your plate."

"No way, Dad," she said.  "That piece was nothing but fat.  I was chewin' it and chewin' it…"

We'll be telling that one for a while.

Welp, I'VE been chewing on something lately.  'Xcept this here is food for THOUGHT, my friends.  The lean and hearty type.

I 'been chewin' it and chewin' it.

Remember when I said that the Oprah incident (specifically whether I had ACTUALLY wanted to be on the show to help other people) wasn't sitting well with me?

[Psst.  This will be the last time I bring up the Oprah thing.  Promise.  Maybe.]

The reason it wasn't sitting well was because I recognized an element of selfishness in it.  I, too, could stand to benefit from being on Oprah.  My blog could explode in popularity and I'd gain an inflated sense of self-worth because I'd imagine I was helping hoards upon hoards of people.

So then was I really doing it to help OTHER people?  Or to help ME?

And is the craving for significance a bad thing?

What IS the relationship of service and selfishness?  With any act of service, the "doer" stands to gain a sense of significance (among other things), yes?

Sooooooo…does that mean that all acts of service are selfish?

Lady Gaga threw me an assist for my recent epiphany on this topic.

Check out the video for the low-down; hopefully it'll give you something to chew on.

[In a hurry?  Then start watching at the 7:05 mark.  (Maybe I should do away with my "must film in one take" rule.  "T-t-t-TODAY, JUNIOR!!")]

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Do you know anybody who might enjoy this video?  They (and I) thank you for passing it along!

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VIDEO BLOG: What the Heck Is an Ego and What Do I Do with It?

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www.bethanylee.com-1-55.jpg

Writing about our Oprah experience last week circled me back to some decade-old questions I've been pondering regarding whether I'm egotistical and if so, what I should do about it.

Here's what I do know:  I really like to be right.  By this I mean, when I take a stance on something, I'm pretty much willing to shed blood in defense of how right I am at any given moment.

What I don't know is:  does this mean I'm an egomaniac?

These ego questions tie into the Oprah thing because I keep asking myself:  WHY did I want to go on Oprah?  Was it REALLY to help people, as I said it was?  [Yes.]  Or was I seeking fame as a means of validation [yes, too], and if so, is it even POSSIBLE that I could STILL be sucking that badly at loving myself?  [No.]

In the public restroom at our local Newport Creamery last night, I had a major epiphany regarding how ego relates to service.  But I can't share my thoughts yet on why egos will save the world because first we need to make sure we're on the same page about what the heck an ego is.

Ergo, today's video:

In this V-Log, I explain:

  • How my perception of the "ego" has evolved through years of therapy and self-development
  • Why the popular idea that we need to "leggo" our egos is a crock of ships
  • One key trick for becoming an "ego whisperer" by taming your wild ego so that it works FOR you; not AGAINST you.

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If you found today's video informative, please forward it to at least one person who might need to be reminded that having an ego is a good thing.

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On a scale of 1-10, how healthy would you rate your ego (with 10 being "very healthy" and 1 being "Kanye West")?

Do you have any thoughts about ego that you'd like to share with other readers?

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Embracing my Optimalist:  First Video Blog Comin' Atchya

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Embracing my Optimalist: First Video Blog Comin' Atchya

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So...this happened.

My first video blog.  It is an intentional practice in vulnerability today that I publish this even though there are exactly 972 things I'd do differently if I filmed it again.  Making it more concise would be thing numero uno.

Let's take a second to wax philosophical about perfectionists vs optimalists, kay?  (It's a lesson I'm deliberately trying to absorb.)

The PERFECTIONIST in me really wants me to NOT publish a video blog until I get it JUST RIGHT.   That mentality holds me back.  If I stick with those standards, I'll never publish anything at all.  Like, EVAH evah.  

Tal Ben-Shahar encourages us to strive towards being OPTIMALISTS.  Optimalists, like perfectionists, strive towards greatness.  However, the key difference between the two is that Optimalists work within the constraints of reality.

The REALITY here is that if I had taken the time to make this more succinct, more value-packed, more fun and more funny, I would have had to sacrifice something else I've committed to doing this week.

And I want to honor all of my commitments.

So I'm working within the constraints of reality, publishing it, and doing three cheers for Opportunities for Growth!!  :)

[PS: When I say, in the video "my forgiveness," I of course mean "my apologies."]

Back to the mind/body/soul cleanse! :)

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