“DAD,” I say. “GET THIS.' 'This Happiness and Success Telesummit coming up? They’re expecting 60,000 people to tune in. And they’re interviewing ME. As an EXPERT!!”
I slap my knee and say “expert” with punchline voice, certain my dad will find this as funny as I do.
Dad is not amused. I wrinkle the skin above my nose, thoroughly confused. My dad finds EVERYTHING funny.
“That’s not how you say it,” he says. "You say [confidently], '...and they are interviewing me as an expert.'"
I say nothing, my playfulness gone.
"Bethany. You've spent thousands of hours over several DECADES studying happiness. You are passionate about it like no one I know. People want to hear your opinion. You're an expert. Own it."
I nod respectfully and inside I feel two things:
1) Appreciation for my Daddy's rose-colored glasses, and
2) Irritation that he didn't find me funny.
But irritation is just another Halloween mask worn by fear.
Maybe I'm afraid.
Maybe I'm afraid he's right.
Will this quote haunt me forever?
Now it's yesterday. I'm at the gym having a conversation with the woman on the machine next to me because she grabbed my ear before I had the chance to put on my headphones in the universal sign language for, "please don't speak to me."
Gym time is thinking time in my book.
But really the reason I hadn't put on my headphones was because Universe wanted me to speak to this woman.
Because she is awesome.
She manages a large team of employees and I can tell she's good at it. I recently hired my first full-time employee. I want to tap into her brain.
I pepper her with questions and she nails them one after another. I literally take notes. On the cardio machine.
She finishes her cardio and in a moment of inspiration I ask her if she'd ever consider business coaching.
I'm practically whipping out my credit card, for God's sake. I'm ready to hire her.
In the time it takes me to ask her this question, I see three emotions flash through her eyes.
1) An inner knowing that she would be good at it. [This passes in a millisecond.] 2) Desire to do it. 3) Fear that she's not enough.
The third is the one she runs with.
“I actually would LOVE to do that someday. Whether for profit or just to help people, I don’t know. Someday I should write down all these thoughts I have about management and business. I would need to do that before I could coach people.”
“Maybe,” I say. “But maybe not. I think you’re ready for it now. Without any preparation.”
She is on her heels for the first time in an hour.
“You know who would be awesome for you?” she says. “Sally Rodriguez.* She’s a fantastic business management coach.”
*** I think we're all waiting for the day where we "feel like" experts at the things we love.
But I've got news for us.
I think the only people who actually "feel like" experts are the ones who are furthest from it. I think all of our favorite "experts" probably go to sleep at night wondering when people will find out that they are not really "experts" after all.
Because those of us who have learned the most are those of us who are truly passionate about learning. And anybody who is passionate about learning is respectful of the process. We know there is no end.
The more we learn, the more we know how much more we need to learn.
They call this "conscious incompetence."
So how do you know if you are ready to live your dream?
But you could run the deathbed test on it.
Some day (hopefully a long time from now) when you are on your deathbed, will you wish you had pursued this dream?
If yes, then you must pursue it, and you must begin today.
Tony Robbins calls this type of uncertainty "necessary uncertainty."
When Kita asked me, during the interview, what I’ve learned on my journey of studying how to “Let it Shine,” a novel's worth of thoughts popped into my head.
But perhaps the biggest, the simplest, and the most complicated thing I’ve learned on this journey is that shining HINGES upon the word “Let.”
You've got to LET yourself shine, Dahlin.
The only thing getting in the way of you shining is you.
Just STOP STOPPING yourself from shining.
It's as simple as that.
Take it from me [dusts shoulders] because I am an expert.
If it's of interest to ya, the "Happiness and Success Telesummit" will be airing their interview with me about "The Power of Being Seen" tomorrow night at 6pm.
I kind of blanked out on what I said during it and a very large part of me hopes you don't actually listen to it, so I'm guessing it might be juicy.
*Sally Rodriguez is a made-up name. I can’t remember the name she said.